The Hamster Wheel

I feel like I’ve got something banging around in my head to say, but I can’t put words to it. I feel like I need to spew something out, but it’s stuck in my throat and I’m choking on it. I’m restless. I feel caged. My cubicle walls seem smaller and a sort of claustrophobia is setting in.

 

I want to scream. I NEED to scream!

 

I don’t want to be in this place right now, doing this work. It seems so unimportant and meaningless. I want to be doing something bigger, something bolder.

 

At the top of the Bigger-Bolder list would be doing a man. Mmm,  man…

 

…do you know how long it’s been since I had sex? So long that I think my equipment is starting to fossilize. Pretty soon chisel and hammer will be needed to crack my iron maiden. But I digress…

 

…I don’t want my current life. I’m doing the same things I’ve done for the past 15 years and I’m so tired of the same stuff year after year. My efforts and energy are spent on diet and exercise. They are the focal points of my life. And all that focus, effort, and energy has been for naught. There’s no change. I just keep chasing my ever-widening tail and I’m dizzy from the effort.

 

I need to get off this hamster wheel. But how? That’s the million dollar question. So let’s look at the behavior patterns… 

 

Chasing My Tail: This Isn’t Working

  • I keep trying new diet schemes and exercise programs
  • I get bored easily
  • I give up quickly
  • I complicate things
  • I put off DOING until everything is perfect
  • I rarely DO anything
  • I rely on the scale to guage progress
  • I cope with food and laziness
  • I don’t finish what I start
  • I start too many things, spreading myself thin (if only the latter was literal)
  • I’m impulsive and dive into non-beneficial projects without thinking
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