Monthly Archives: November 2008

figuring it out

So several months ago I posted about going to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. After visiting the ER a total of 3 times over the summer, having an echocardiogram, an ultrasound on my gallbladder, liver, and kidneys, and a gallbladder scan, it was concluded I was having anxiety attacks. 

Seriously? Anxiety attacks? 

On one hand, relieved it’s not more serious. On the other, treating anxiety attacks is way trickier and more involved than removing a gallbladder or bracing open an artery. But with regularly scheduled counseling sessions and xanax I think I’m doing better and am figuring out some stuff.

Mostly, I’m learning I need to get really honest and take care of myself spiritually. I need to give up a few lies I’ve been spinning, I need to grieve for the loss of my friend and a baby I was pregnant with 2 years ago, and I need to open myself up to more opportunities, reach out to people, engage in friendships more actively, and dare to try new social situations. 

I really do want my life to change, to get out of this rut and live more fully. So I’m working on that. And I think it’s going well so far.

Yeah me!