Changing the Tape

ImageIn the last 2 months I’ve gone through a bit of a life shake-up by moving in with my parents. Yeah. I’ve become THAT person…a 30-something living with her parents. Thankfully I’m not in the basement but still, I’m living with my parents in my 30’s.

We’ll cover the reasons for the move in some other post and I’ll vent about that lameness, but for the time being, I actually have an alternate point.

My folks live outside of city limits and with that comes the choice of satellite tv or rabbit ears. My parents have opted for rabbit ears so I’m limited to about 6 channels, 3 of which are public broadcasting. Before you weep for me, this is actually an improvement from the rabbit ears I had when living in town… I only got 1 station really well and 2 stations really fuzzy. And public broadcasting is a bit of awesome so it’s fun to have access to those channels.

PBS was my entertainment Sunday afternoon and they were featuring a lecture series from a guy named Dr. Wayne Dyer. I only really started paying attention around his last couple of points and my essential take away message was that in order to fulfill my wishes and start succeeding in life, I needed to change the tape playing in my head… my inner monologue if you will.

You know… that bitch (or bastard… any guys out there?) that sits up and says “way to go genius” when you spill some milk, or sings out “FATTY! FATTY! FATTY!” when you’re trying to find a new outfit (and you’re hating every minute of it because nothing fits in the size you want), or, in those darker moments, tells you you’re nothing, a waste of space, a burden on your loved ones, a source of shame and embarrassment to them, and that they’d be better off without you. (Really how did that voice ever gain such an ability to influence us, to run amok and trample over our already fragile ego’s?).

Call me a sucker, but I was intrigued enough by this guy’s lecture (at least the part I caught) and decided to check out the new book he’s written called Wishes Fulfilled. It’s on order from amazon and will be here on Wednesday so I’ll report on that reading adventure as I have feedback.

One of the exercises (the only one I remember) was to work on a positive thought stream as you drift into la la land at days end. Don’t go to bed rehashing bad stuff and worrying about things you can’t do anything about at the moment. The negativity such thought processes invite are what will stick with you throughout your recovery time (sleep) and you’ll wake up already depleted and/or defeated.

So Sunday evening I tried this before going to bed, ending things on a positive upbeat note. I was trying to think of characteristics I most want to embody – strength, wisdom, beauty, kindness – and started telling myself I was each one of those. After working through the list a few times I started likening it to Aibileen Clark in The Help repeating her mantra to the children she’d helped raise. “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

You is strong. You is smart. You is beautiful. You is Kind.

Honestly, I started fretting over the order I was saying them in (yeah, PSYCHO!), thinking I needed to have “kind” first (isn’t that what I should most want to embody?). But after a moment of fretting I realized I was defeating the purpose of the exercise so I told the contrarian in me to shut up and play along.

Strangely, I woke up a little more optimistic this morning. Maybe there’s some truth to the idea that you are what you eat… except in thinking. You are what you think?

So I’m going to keep experimenting with this practice. Self-affirmations…HUZZAH! Next thing you know I’ll stop shaving, wear hemp necklaces, and bathe in patchouli.

How about you? Do you have an inner tape playing that needs to be rewritten? Are the reflex thoughts you have about yourself sabotaging your journey? Do you still shave?

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