Category Archives: inspiration

Recapping 2012

Yes, I know the New Year was over a month ago. Yes, recapping 2012 and giving it a proper adieu is a bit blated. Oh well. Overall it was a good year and, belated or not, it deserves a proper send off. And then hopefully I’ll finally welcome in 2013.

rebuilt

Okay… when last I posted I was moving to the BIG city (BIG relative to where I was living), and it has been the best move of my life. Within a month or so of the move, I found myself anxiety attack free. My stress level dropped to nil and my blood pressure is the lowest it’s been in about 10 years. Those things alone are proof enough for me that “stuck” is not a healthy place to live.

That’s where I was for 10+ years… STUCK. True, I made some strides in unsticking myself through sheer force of will, but eventually the continual trying wore me down and I found myself in a place of surrender to a numb half-life that was slowly stealing the last tendrils of joy and peace in me.

I hear a lot about how we can’t let our circumstances define us but sometimes they get the better of you and there’s no choice but to change your circumstances. If, after trying to bend yourself to circumstances, you find you’ll break if you contort yourself any further, say “fuck it” and move on. There’s no shame in setting a new course.

So here’s what has been going on in my life in the last 6 months:

  1. Moved to a new city.
  2. Joined up with OA again.
  3. Started attending church so I could meet people (the meeting people, hasn’t worked out quite as well as hoped, but I am finding church to be quite nourishing).
  4. Broke up with my boyfriend, but thankfully we have remained friends and have more fun now than when we were dating (so glad we had that sort of resolution).
  5. I started putting myself out in the dating world.
  6. Because my first date experience was with someone WAY out of my league, I realized I needed to level up my life so I started working out again and taking steps to drop weight. I started my efforts with the Morning Mile Challenge over at Nerd Fitness and have dropped 15 lbs so far.
  7. I discovered the band Mumford & Sons and because of their awesomeness am resolving to learn the banjo this year.
  8. I renewed my permit to carry a concealed weapon. This goes along with the .40 cal Berreta my dad gave me for Christmas.
  9. I discovered the band Imagine Dragons and the song Radioactive will be added to my life’s Soundtrack.
  10. I’ve made a new friend (potential boyfriend?) in my dating efforts and he is also teaching me the game “Magic The Gathering.” God help me. NERD ALERT!!

I’m happy to report that I feel like I’m living life to the full. I actually HAVE A LIFE. I’m not sitting at home every night watching television and wishing my life would start. And I’m not planning to slow down in 2013.

Looking ahead to 2013 (yeah I know – already two months in – better late than never?) … It’s time to take the bull by the horns and get myself out of debt once and for all. I also want to learn the banjo (mentioned above) and I want to take up archery. Call me crazy, but I want to be a capable of handling myself in sketchy situations and to be able to handle weapons if necessary. Weight is always a battle but I think I’m having success there – if I can just keep that momentum rolling.

So 2012 started with a whimper. I was a bit of a mess and at the end of my rope but God has carried me through.

I have loved you with an everlasting love.
I have drawn you with loving kindness.
I will build you up again,
And you will be rebuilt.
And go out to dance with the joyful.

Jeremiah 31: 3-4

I feel like this promise was handed to me at the end of 2011. It has carried me through 2012 and will continue to be my courage in 2013. My life is evolving, I am growing, and I find myself caught up in a breathtaking adventure.


Don’t Let Life Do You

Let’s start this week off with a little inspiration… brought to you by Jenn over at Girl Heroes.

I’m not sure if someone else has ever said this before. It seems like one of those “duh” things that everyone has heard or said at one point but some googling of the quote never returned someone uttering the phrase in just this way. So, thanks Jenn for such an awesome reminder!

I’d also like to encourage you to read the post where Jenn talks about doing life. Some awesome reminders in there and something I need to go reread.


quote: doing stuff that scares you

Keeping it short with a quote today. Am working on a post about one of my biggest pet peeves EVER. And it’s actually not health/fitness related. Go figure. Riveting post tomorrow… stay tuned.


Week in Review: Bucked off

Is anyone else impressed that I managed to put up 5 posts this week (counting this one, 6). I am. Totally. But let’s not draw too much attention to it because I might get spooked and duck back in my hole.

This week we covered:

  1. My wading back into blogging
  2. My acceptance of the 6-week Nerd Fitness challenge
  3. Practicing self-affirmations for motivation and success
  4. Moving back in with folks and trying to find my mojo
  5. Survival… one of the key reasons I want to be fit

Those posts were all banged out and scheduled for publication on Tuesday… I was on a roll. Wednesday dawned and I woke up a raging beast. Moody, gloomy, and riding a broom(y). And that continued through the week. It may still be present. I think I’m coming out of the… haze (?) and now I’m recalling that I was supposed to be doing self-affirmations, going full-on Primal, and exercising.

Well shit. Botched that.

The whole time I was in that mind set all I wanted to do was stay curled in bed and read a book. And I wanted everyone to frack off and leave me alone. Generally, I wasn’t fit for human consumption. But duty called, a paycheck demanded earning, and general pleasantries needed to be observed with the folks. So I kept a low profile and sought as little human contact as possible. Which as an introvert, was totally needed.

So I’m going to refer to the last part of the week as being bucked off. I was completely thrown mentally, emotionally, rationally from any of the awesomeness I was starting to cultivate. And I’m aware of too things:

  1. I must get back in the saddle
  2. I need to figure out how not to be so totally thrown… where did I go wrong OR what spooked the horse?

Things to explore in the coming weeks. I also need to figure out how to get off sugar and what the heck I did to my back (it also started hurting Wednesday) or more so how to rehabilitate it quickly so I can get to lifting heavy things.

With that, I’ll leave you with some funny pictures of house guests meeting each other for the first time…

My parents live in the country and have  no shortage of mice. This one has been very sneaky and survived a few close calls with my folks cats. He’s got the kitchen figured out.

This is my part main-coon Gizmo seeing her first mouse ever. She was tense and trembling and doing the funny cat squeak they do when they see something they want to hunt. The mouse would move back and forth between the front burners taunting Giz. So funny. I got up to move some pans out of the way so my cat had more room to pounce  but that killed the moment. So the mouse is still around taunting and Gizmo is regularly on watch… waiting.


Survival of the FITtest

I’m really stoked about the upcoming Hunger Games movie. What’s not to love? Female heroine, survival, fighting, and romance. Some of my favorite things.

Be sure to check out Reasons to Be Fit for more fitspuration (I feel dirty using that blended word… someone scrub my brain out please).

So… honestly? I think this is a valid reason to get fit. Survival. It’s definitely one of the top reasons on my list (maybe the top one… will have to do a post on the top reasons to get fit someday… hmmm).

Anyway…

Late last summer/early fall A year ago Ashton Kutcher did a story with Men’s Fitness and claimed he wanted to be fit so he’d be able to save his family during the apocalypse. At that point, Ashton had never looked hotter to me.

Yummy.

Of course it later came out that he was kidding (punking Men’s Fitness?). And it saddened me. There might have even been tears. And a part of me still hopes it’s true.

Say what you will, but chest thumping, testosterone amped, protective, possessive, fighting MEN are hot (though there’s definitely a fine line between manly man and abusive dick). But as great as I think manly man is, I’m not content to be a damsel in distress. No doubt there are going to be times I’ll need assistance, but I want to be able to carry my weight and then some. I will not be a burden when the apocalypse rains down. I’ll be a survivor and save the lives of loved ones. With or without a mass of strapping hotness glistening from the sweaty exertions of battle. Mmmm… shiny.

Did I mention shiny things distract me…

What are you reasons for getting fit? Do you like the manly men? Are you a manly man? How do you feel about shiny things?


Have You Seen My Mojo?

In an earlier post I brought up the move-in with my folks at the age of 33. So I thought I’d take this moment to wade into those waters for a bit. Get out your floaties girls and boys.

Why did I do this? Three main reasons…two very closely related.

  1. Finances. Living is getting crazy expensive lately.
  2. Health problems. It turned out this was actually a minor health problem but at the time I was freaked and didn’t want to be alone. Which brings us to…
  3. I’m tired of being on my own.

I’m a young, relatively successful, single girl with a huge independent streak. But after 10 years of going it alone, I ran out of the required bravado. I’m referring to it as losing my mojo… that thing, whatever it was, that gave me the gumption to stand strong and independent while everyone around me was or became coupled.

So I’ve returned to the nest to rediscover my mojo. Of course, this living situation really crimps a few things. There’s much less privacy, more intrusion/nosiness from my folks, no dates coming back to the house (not really an issue anyway since there’s a boyfriend 3 hours away), and it’s awkward having friends over. I’ve also discovered the people who say that your parents regress to children as they age weren’t kidding (see example below).

But my folks place is a safe landing while I figure out the next steps in my life and rediscover my mojo. And I’m thankful for them. Really. Besides, a person can endure about anything if it’s temporary. Even parents. Right?

So I’m going to wring every opportunity out of this that I can. And the name of this blog is too fitting for this stage in my life. Pick up my mat. If that wasn’t a load of foreshadowing those many years ago when I picked the name, I don’t know what was.

Lucky for you (or maybe not so), while I’m learning to pick up my mat and walk again, I’ll bring you funny stories about my parents regression back to childhood. Here is installment #1…

Immature Parental Unit Experience: #1

My mom was making supper one evening and was experimenting with a sweet and sour pork chop recipe (I don’t recommend it) and somewhere in the course of her telling me what she was making that evening she said (uncertain about the recipe’s appeal) “well your dad doesn’t like pork chops.”

I was like Scooby Do going “wha?” We must have eaten pork chops every other week growing up so my dad not liking pork chops was a revelation to me.

My dad happened to be right in the kitchen when she said this and he asked “I d

on’t?” Apparently he wasn’t aware of this aversion either.

I don’t really remember what was said after that but soon we were all gathered around the dinner table

eating and my dad didn’t take any pork chops. Either I or my mom pointed it out and he says rather snottily, “Well I guess I don’t like pork chops.”

And. He. REFUSED. To. Eat. ONE. REFUSED!

He also pouted the rest of the night since he didn’t get any meat with his supper… even though it was his fault he didn’t eat any meat.

So my mom is re-imagining my dad’s taste buds and my dad is embodying an 8 year old. Good times.

Good. Times.

Have you returned to the parental nest after many years of independence? Are your parents regressing? Have you seen my mojo?


Changing the Tape

ImageIn the last 2 months I’ve gone through a bit of a life shake-up by moving in with my parents. Yeah. I’ve become THAT person…a 30-something living with her parents. Thankfully I’m not in the basement but still, I’m living with my parents in my 30’s.

We’ll cover the reasons for the move in some other post and I’ll vent about that lameness, but for the time being, I actually have an alternate point.

My folks live outside of city limits and with that comes the choice of satellite tv or rabbit ears. My parents have opted for rabbit ears so I’m limited to about 6 channels, 3 of which are public broadcasting. Before you weep for me, this is actually an improvement from the rabbit ears I had when living in town… I only got 1 station really well and 2 stations really fuzzy. And public broadcasting is a bit of awesome so it’s fun to have access to those channels.

PBS was my entertainment Sunday afternoon and they were featuring a lecture series from a guy named Dr. Wayne Dyer. I only really started paying attention around his last couple of points and my essential take away message was that in order to fulfill my wishes and start succeeding in life, I needed to change the tape playing in my head… my inner monologue if you will.

You know… that bitch (or bastard… any guys out there?) that sits up and says “way to go genius” when you spill some milk, or sings out “FATTY! FATTY! FATTY!” when you’re trying to find a new outfit (and you’re hating every minute of it because nothing fits in the size you want), or, in those darker moments, tells you you’re nothing, a waste of space, a burden on your loved ones, a source of shame and embarrassment to them, and that they’d be better off without you. (Really how did that voice ever gain such an ability to influence us, to run amok and trample over our already fragile ego’s?).

Call me a sucker, but I was intrigued enough by this guy’s lecture (at least the part I caught) and decided to check out the new book he’s written called Wishes Fulfilled. It’s on order from amazon and will be here on Wednesday so I’ll report on that reading adventure as I have feedback.

One of the exercises (the only one I remember) was to work on a positive thought stream as you drift into la la land at days end. Don’t go to bed rehashing bad stuff and worrying about things you can’t do anything about at the moment. The negativity such thought processes invite are what will stick with you throughout your recovery time (sleep) and you’ll wake up already depleted and/or defeated.

So Sunday evening I tried this before going to bed, ending things on a positive upbeat note. I was trying to think of characteristics I most want to embody – strength, wisdom, beauty, kindness – and started telling myself I was each one of those. After working through the list a few times I started likening it to Aibileen Clark in The Help repeating her mantra to the children she’d helped raise. “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

You is strong. You is smart. You is beautiful. You is Kind.

Honestly, I started fretting over the order I was saying them in (yeah, PSYCHO!), thinking I needed to have “kind” first (isn’t that what I should most want to embody?). But after a moment of fretting I realized I was defeating the purpose of the exercise so I told the contrarian in me to shut up and play along.

Strangely, I woke up a little more optimistic this morning. Maybe there’s some truth to the idea that you are what you eat… except in thinking. You are what you think?

So I’m going to keep experimenting with this practice. Self-affirmations…HUZZAH! Next thing you know I’ll stop shaving, wear hemp necklaces, and bathe in patchouli.

How about you? Do you have an inner tape playing that needs to be rewritten? Are the reflex thoughts you have about yourself sabotaging your journey? Do you still shave?